


Bad Dreams

by Elwyne



Series: The Ex-Detectives [5]
Category: Broadchurch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 19:46:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2080845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elwyne/pseuds/Elwyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec's worst nightmare taunts him from the shadows, while Ellie's returns to plague her days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Dreams

It was late at night, the boys long in bed. Ellie turned on the television and sank into the sofa. She'd made a habit of watching a bit of the late news while sipping a glass of wine; it helped her feel like a person again, rather than a cautionary tale of single motherhood.

But on this particular night, the local headline story brought all her old nightmares to the fore.

"The body of a young woman was found late last evening among the bins behind a student residence at the Norwich University of the Arts. Police have not released the young woman's name, nor the cause of death, but foul play is suspected. NUA students and other residents are advised to keep watch tonight, and not to go out alone."

Alec's daughter, she remembered, was a student at NUA. Ellie set down her wine with unsteady hands and picked up her phone. He answered almost before it had rung.

"Hardy," he barked.

"Alec, it's me. Ellie." She paused, listening to the noise behind him. Telephones rang, urgent voices muttered; there was a clatter of computer keys. "On the news," she stammered. "I just saw -"

"Terry's fine," Alec said tersely.

"Oh, thank god," Ellie murmured. Her heart pounded as all the old terrors she'd been holding off so long surfaced again before her eyes. "Is there anything - anything at all that I can do?"

The typing sound cut off; a moment later a door shut, closing out the rest of the noise.

"All right if I stop by?" Alec said.

"Yes, of course."

"Ten minutes."

Ellie smoothed back her hair and poured a second glass of wine. At ten minutes on the dot she heard his tentative knock and opened the door. Alec stood on the step in the rain, as pale and fragile-looking as she'd ever seen him.

"Come in, please," she urged. He stepped inside, rainwater running from his hair into his eyes. Ellie helped him out of his damp coat and hung it behind the door. As she turned he reached for her; gratefully she sank into his embrace, and for a long moment they held each other in the entryway. 

"Thank you," he murmured into her hair.

"Of course." Gently she extracted herself and led him into the sitting room. He accepted the glass of wine and perched on the edge of the sofa.

Ellie picked up her own glass and sat down beside him. "Do you want to talk?"

Alec ran one long hand over his face. He looked exhausted, with dark smudges under his eyes, his chin poorly and not lately shaved; he must have been wakened when the body was first discovered, and not been to bed since.

"What was the first thing came into your mind," he said, "when you first saw Danny's body?"

Ellie looked away. Her hands shook; she set down her wine before she could drop it. "Honestly?"

"Honestly."

She took a deep breath. "My first thought was, thank god it isn't Tom."

Alec nodded, staring into the empty fireplace. She covered his hand with hers. It felt like ice.

"Her name was Lise Freedman. Twenty years old, art student, two loving parents, a twin sister and a younger brother. A whole community of people who loved her."

Tears filled Ellie's eyes. "I'm sorry," she said.

Alec shook his head. "All those lives, shattered, and all I could think was, thank god..." He set down his wine and covered his face with both hands. Hesitantly Ellie touched his shoulder, felt him trembling.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured.

With a shudder he sat upright, drawing an unsteady breath. "We brought the boyfriend in for questioning," he said. "But at the time of death he was on stage in front of a capacity crowd at the Boho Club." 

"That's a hell of an alibi."

"Aye. And no other suspects yet." 

"It's early days," said Ellie.

"Aye." He gazed into the cold hearth, his mind a hundred miles away. Ellie took his hand again. His fingers curled tightly around hers.

"I thought I was past all this, Miller. I tried to teach you, in Broadchurch, not to get involved. But now every time I close my eyes I see Terry on that slab."

"Have you considered giving up the case?" Ellie asked gently.

He looked at her with contempt. "Is that what you think of me? That I'm finished after all?"

"No, of course not. But your daughter -"

"But your son," he interrupted, his eyes blazing with scorn. "Your best friend, your boy's best mate. Did you give up the case?"

She held his gaze. "No," she said.

"No." He turned his face away. "You couldn't. Nor can I." His body sagged as the fight went out of him; he looked old and tired once again. She slipped her arm around him and rested her head against his shoulder.

"This job may kill me yet," he murmured.

"Please don't say that."

He looked down at her with a weary smile, then lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "I'm glad you called, Ellie. A man likes to think he can manage on his own, but some days..." He trailed off, shaking his head.

"It's hard, being alone." Ellie bit her lip. She hadn't meant to voice the thought aloud.

"Aye," said Alec. "That it is."

"Stay with me," she whispered urgently.

He raised one eyebrow in surprise. "Is that a good idea?"

"No, it's a terrible idea. Please."

He glanced over his shoulder at the stairs, then looked back at her with a wry smile. "What can I say?"

"You can say yes, or you can say no."

The weariness in his eyes faded a fraction. "Yes," he murmured.

She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him.

 

The bedroom door creaked. "Mummy?"

Ellie woke with a start, swearing under her breath. Alec withdrew his arm from her waist and lay still. She fumbled for her dressing gown. "Just a moment, sweetheart."

The door opened further. "I want to sleep in your bed," Freddy whimpered.

Heart racing she leaped to her feet. "Let's try yours a while longer, hm?" Catching Freddy in the doorway she turned him around and ushered him out. "Then if you still can't sleep, you can come to mine."

Grumbling Freddy returned to his room. Ellie lay down beside him on the narrow bed and folded him in her arms. A floorboard creaked in the hallway by the stairs. She began to hum an old nursery rhyme that had been Tom's favorite when he had bad dreams. 

"Mummy," Freddy interrupted. "Do I have a daddy?"

Ellie's heart leaped into her throat. She swallowed hard. "Yes, sweetheart," she said, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"Why doesn't he live with us?"

Ellie shut her eyes and hugged her baby closer. "He couldn't, sweetheart. Something bad happened, and he had to go away."

"Why?"

I wish I knew, she thought. "Why are you asking so many questions? Did something happen at school today?"

He squirmed in her arms. "We read a book about penguins. The daddy sat on the egg and the mummy went away." He put his warm little hands on her face. "You won't go away, will you, Mummy?"

"Never." Tears stung her eyes as she turned to kiss his hands. "I will never ever leave you. I promise."

"Cross your heart and hope to die?"

"Cross my heart, baby boy." She kissed his curly head. He squirmed.

"I'm not a baby," he giggled sleepily.

"You'll always be my baby."

Gradually Freddy fell asleep again, and Ellie crept back to her empty room. No sign remained that Alec had ever been there. A pang of loneliness tugged at her heart.

Sitting on the edge of the rumpled bed she picked up her phone. Two forty-two, it said. And there was a text message waiting. From Alec. She clicked the envelope icon to open it.

'Everything ok?' it said.

"No," she said aloud. "It's really not."

There was no one there to hear her.

 

"Tom, breakfast!" Ellie shouted up the stairs as the kettle whistled and Freddy set a plate of toast precariously on the edge of the table. "Now!"

"Right, I'm coming!" Tom slouched down the stairs and dropped into his seat. Freddy climbed up next to him as he spread jam on his toast.

"Tom, do you have a daddy?"

Ellie froze, a bag of sandwiches in her hand on the way to Tom's lunch bag.

"Course I have, dum dum," Tom said, shoving toast in his mouth. "Same as you."

"Where does he live?"

"In Hell, I hope."

"Tom," said Ellie, forcing herself calm. "Language, please."

"Well, it's what he deserves."

Freddy's eyes widened. "Why?"

"He killed a little boy," said Tom. He pushed back his chair and stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm going to be late."

"Here," Ellie choked, handing him his lunch. "Go."

Freddy looked at Ellie with horror as Tom stomped out of the house. She sat down in the chair beside him and opened her arms; Freddy climbed into her lap.

"Did he really, Mummy?" he murmured into her sleeve.

"Yes, sweetheart," she sighed.

"Why?"

"I don't know, love." She hugged him close, burying her face in his hair.

"Will he kill me?"

"Oh, god, no." Tears sprung to her eyes, and she hugged him harder. "He will never ever hurt you, I promise. Never ever."

"How do you know?"

"He's in jail. He won't get out until you're all grown up and he's an old old man. And anyway, I'd never let anyone hurt you. You know that."

Freddy began to cry. Ellie rocked him in her lap, her own helpless tears falling into his hair.

 

Ellie sat on the bus with her phone in her hand. It was times like this she missed Beth the most. A friend she could call any time, and be sure of a sympathetic ear, was beyond price in this life.

Instead she had Lucy, and Alec. Lucy's company was brittle at the best of times, and in the midst of planning her son's wedding she had no attention to spare for anything else. And Alec had worries of his own. She thrust the phone back into her handbag and gazed out the window.

She'd had to tell Freddy's teacher why he'd come to school late and inconsolable. Now the unflappable Mrs. Williams eyed her like she'd grown another head. And she was late to work in only her second week at the job. It was just a matter of time until her new co-workers learned the truth. And then what? 

Ellie swallowed the lump in her throat and straightened her shoulders. She'd manage. She'd look after her boys, and she'd ignore the aching crater in her heart. She'd make do, as long as Tom and Freddy needed her to.

After that, it wouldn't matter anymore.

 

By dinner time Freddy had forgotten his anguish; Ellie gave him his bath and put him to bed buoyant with relief. When he was asleep, she knocked on Tom's bedroom door.

"What?" he barked.

"Can we talk?"

He answered with a grunt. "I'll take that as a yes," she said, and opened the door. Tom sat atop his bedclothes glowering at the battered old laptop on his knees. Ellie cleared a heap of laundry from the foot of the bed and sat down.

"I suppose I'm in the shite now," Tom said.

"Actually I came to apologize."

Tom looked up in surprise. Ellie noticed the blond fuzz thickening on his upper lip. No one to teach him to shave, she thought.

"It's my job to tell the unpleasant truths. It shouldn't have gone to you."

Tom grunted and looked away.

"Anyway, I'm sorry. I know I haven't been there for you to talk to, and I'm sorry for that too. I want you to be able to come to me if you need to."

Tom shrugged, his eyes fixed on the bedspread by his feet.

"It's a hard thing to talk about," she went on. "But if you have something you want to say, I promise to listen."

Tom glanced up then, a shadow of a smile on his lips. "Thanks, Mum."

"I love you, Tom. Don't ever for one moment forget that."

He shrugged again and looked away. "Freddy all right then?"

"Freddy's fine. Freddy's the best of us." She sighed. "We'll get there one day, I suppose."

Tom snorted. "Not bloody likely."

"Well, anything's possible." She leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "You know where to find me if you need me."

He grunted. She stood up to go.

"Mum," he said as she reached the door.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

He sat with his shoulders hunched and his face turned away. "Love you too," he grunted.

"Then all is well," said Ellie, and she went out.

 

As she prepared for bed her phone buzzed against the bedside table. Alec's number lit up the screen. Quickly she picked it up.

"Are you all right?" Alec asked.

"Yes, of course. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, sorry. I thought you might call."

"Oh." She frowned, and then remembered the unanswered text message. "Sorry. Everything's fine."

"Good. Look, I just - I'm sorry about last night."

She sank onto the bed, hollow inside. "Oh, no, Alec. Please don't be sorry."

"I didn't mean I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I only meant - well, you did say it was a terrible idea."

She laughed, and her sudden anxiety eased. "It was. We probably shouldn't do it again."

"For that I'm sorry," he said.

"Me too." A tightness in her chest loosened, like the lifting of a weight. She lay back on the pillow, phone nestled against her ear, and imagined him beside her. "How's the case?"

He sighed. "There's really no good outcome in a case like this."

"That's true enough."

"The victim's therapist came forward. It's generating some leads."

"Do you have another suspect?"

"Aye, we do."

"You don't sound happy."

"It's her mother."

Ellie's insides went cold. "Oh, god."

"The evidence is circumstantial at the moment, though there is a history of abuse. But the suspect is also a well-practiced liar. We're not likely to get a confession."

"Her own mother." Tears welled up in Ellie's eyes; she blinked them away with annoyance. "Have you arrested her yet?"

"No. I don't want there to be any doubt."

"I can understand that."

"We're working with authorities in the family's home town, trying to build a case around the abuse. That could give us an edge, particularly if the other children are involved."

Ellie sighed. "I wish I could help."

"No you don't."

She smiled. "I do and I don't."

Somewhere behind him a phone jangled. "Shit," he said. "That's me. I'll ring you tomorrow."

"Take care, Alec," she said, but he was already gone.

 

He didn't ring, and she tried not to worry. She went to work, cooked dinner for her boys, read to Freddy, hugged Tom every chance she got. Freddy didn't mention his father again. With the resilience of childhood, he'd moved on.

It was several days before Alec's number blinked on her phone screen. "It's done," he said. "It's up to the lawyers now."

"Thank god," said Ellie.

"Can I see you?"

"Of course." She glanced toward the stairs. "The boys are in bed."

"I won't stay long. I just want to talk. Is that all right?"

"Please. Please come."

 

He stood on her step, ghost-pale in the yellow street light, eyes sunken, cheeks hollow. She took his arm and pulled him inside.

"God, Alec, you look like hell. Have you slept?"

"Not much." He let her take his coat, then wandered into the sitting room to stare into the empty fireplace. Ellie hung up the coat and watched him from the doorway.

"Can I get you something? Wine? Tea?"

"Tea." He shook himself. "Thanks, Ellie."

"It's no bother." She went into the kitchen, put on the kettle, spooned tea into the pot. When she returned to the sitting room, Alec was slumped in the armchair by the fireplace, head in his hands.

"Are you all right?"

He lifted his head with effort. "Fine."

"You don't look well, Alec. Have you seen your doctor?"

"I'm fine." Drawing a deep breath he sat back in the chair, gazing up at her with tired eyes. "It's over. Out of my hands."

She sat down in the chair opposite him. "It sounds like a monstrous case."

"Aye." He pinched the bridge of his nose, as if to ward off a headache. "You haven't been watching the news."

"No, I haven't. I couldn't, not since they found her."

"The press is behaving no better than usual. They've dug up Sandbrook, and Jack Marshall, called the case a witch hunt and painted the woman as a martyr."

"I'm sorry."

"They didn't see the body. They didn't hear the boy's story. And now he'll be frightened from testifying, and she'll go free. She'll just keep on till she's killed him too."

Ellie leaned forward to squeeze Alec's hand.

"Forgive me, Ellie," he sighed. "I'm an old fool. Getting involved."

"It's all right." The kettle whistled then; Ellie got up to pour the tea. She arranged the pot and cups on a tray with milk and sugar and carried it into the sitting room where she placed it on an end table. When she looked up, she found Alec asleep.

For a long moment Ellie watched him. Some of the tension had seeped out of him as he relaxed in sleep; he looked almost peaceful. But something wasn't right. His face seemed too still, too pale. Gently Ellie stroked his cheek; his skin felt cold and slack against her hand. She shook his shoulder to wake him, and his head lolled forward like a rag doll's. Ellie grabbed her phone and dialed 999.

 

The boys, wide awake, watched from the stairs as the EMTs loaded Alec into the ambulance. Ellie stood on the pavement, wringing her hands.

"His daughter's name is Teresa," she said. "Her number ought to be in his phone. Maybe I should -"

"It's all right mum," the young woman said as she climbed inside with the stretcher. "We'll take care of it."

"Thank you." The ambulance doors slammed shut; the other EMT climbed into the driver's seat. "Will he be all right, do you think?" she asked him.

The young man shrugged. "Vitals are strong. Have to see what the doctors say."

She nodded, not trusting her voice. The ambulance roared away into the night. Ellie went back inside her house and shut the door.

"What's that copper doing here?" Tom demanded.

"Having a cup of tea." Ellie picked up the cold pot and returned it to the kitchen.

"Is he gonna die?" Freddy asked.

"No, sweetheart."

Tom snorted. "Just our luck."

"None of that," said Ellie sharply. "Alec is a friend."

"Some friend."

Ellie sank into the sofa with an exhausted sigh. "I'm tired of arguing with you, Tom. If it's worth that much energy to hate the man, you carry on. I don't require you to approve my friends."

Tom looked at her with disdain and stomped back upstairs.

Freddy crawled into her lap. "Was that a real ambulance, Mummy?"

"Yes, it was, sweetheart." She ran her hand through his curls, and some of her anxiety eased.

"I want to drive an ambulance when I grow up."

Tears filled Ellie's eyes. Just like your dad, she thought, and hugged her baby to her chest.


End file.
